I won't link to the article here, because he doesn't need the page views. If you are wondering about the content of the pledge, it's not hard to imagine. Just the same overused observations about millennials being lazy, always texting, never getting jobs, etc. Almost any article written about millennials goes through the same tired refrains. It would be boring if it weren't so insulting. It may be too late for Mr. Erskine, but I've decided to help out any future columnists who are approaching their deadline with an empty Word doc and decide to dip into the old well of shaking their fist at younger generations instead of being creative or insightful.
So I present to you, the Columnists-Writing-About-Millennials Pledge!
Read it with me:
- I will not be insulting.
- I will not make blanket generalizations about an entire generation.
- I will not be condescending.
- I will not write things about a group of people that, were I writing them about an oppressed minority, would get me fired.
- I will not be offensive.
- I will not claim that the way I grew up is the only way to grow up.
- I will not claim to be the arbiter of 'adulthood' while getting paid to insult people younger than me.
- I will not hearken back to an imagined golden age.
- I will not pretend that things are the same now as when they were when I was growing up.
- I will not pretend that a list of insults qualifies humor.
- I will not hide behind the mantle of 'humorist' when the people I was insulting get offended.
- I will attempt to be understanding.
- I will attempt to empathize with the subjects of my writing.
- I will do actual research about my subject instead of making things up based on what seems right to me.
- I will be constructive.
- I will be insightful.
- I will not act as if millennials are beneath me.
- Nothing is beneath me.
- I will understand that hostility breeds hostility, and that when I publicly disrespect a group of people, they are likely to respond in kind.
- I will not use these responses as proof that I was right all along. I will instead apologize like an adult, and try to do better next time.
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Now, as you might expect, Mr. Erskine's column provoked a good deal of backlash. As you might also expect, he responded to the backlash with the same level of maturity he displayed in his original column. Here are some choice quotes (added emphasis is mine):
"To me, this is what you get when you raise an entire generation without spanking."
"As you might expect, the first wave of reaction was from older readers, who’d seen it in print (and wake up before 7 a.m.)."
"Look, I get it. We haven’t handed the millennials a world in mint condition. No parents ever do. But we’ve spread democracy, reduced Communism, virtually eliminated the constant threat of nuclear elimination.
"Has any single one of you punks been drafted?
"The oceans are cleaner, the roads safer, the economy more diverse. And, oh yeah, it was boomers who invented your precious iPhones and personal computers."
"Probably the fairest response came from an actual adult."Well, Mr. Erskine, if you aren't too busy spanking the communism out of your children before 7 am, take a moment to reflect on a few key rules of comedy:
One is "Never punch down." Don't tell jokes maligning a group of people who have less power than you, because it makes you seem like an asshole.
The other is "Never aim for the low-hanging fruit." It's usually too obvious to be funny. Taking the easiest route is less rewarding in the long run.
I like to think that these comedy rules also apply to adulthood. If you are going to claim to be an adult and a humorist, it is best to keep them in mind.
